Interview with Oft Beat Echo in 1983. Crooner were an independent band from Glasgow and still to this day keep their hand in for their long term fan base with live shows and releases of a quality right up there with their youthful creations.
Lead singer and song writer ‘The Crooner’ is now based on the First floor of 333 That Street where he has a small studio he uses for song writing and a side hustle in journalism.
The following is an article written after an interview with him whilst on tour and covers an interesting subject of ‘Isolation in Creation.’
‘Isolation in Creation.’
OBE: You make it look effortless on stage. Songs with such profound words and a sound very much of this time but also a nod to the sounds around the corner. Can you tell me a little bit about your creative process? What gets you to this polished sound on stage?
CROONER: Silky and shiny is the end goal. That’s entertainment. But trust me there is a lot of mess and chaos and frustrations along the way. Most of which show face way before a note is even hit.
OBE: So there’s a certain amount of turmoil and indecision the crowd could never envisage?
CROONER: Of course. Standing before the enraptured crowd, basking in the glow of their adoration, is the desire, the addiction. But it only papers over the cracks of the hollow aches in the depths of a soul which can never feel enough creatively. They cheer and applaud, their faces alight with joy as they revel in the polished sound of the music. Not just my music. Any creator. But little do they know of the turmoil that lies beneath the surface, the silent battles fought and lost in the pursuit of perfection. Ask anyone you interview. The moment they smile and applaud having heard what you did, then the chase begins for the next smile and applause. Their impulses need feeding as much as mine.
OBE: Can you give me an example of this turmoil in creation and how you rose like a Phoenix from the flames to stand all polished and shiny new before an adoring crowd?
CROONER: It’s never a planned inspiration for me. I don’t pick a subject and write it. In fact sometimes even if I had an inspiration it’s not as easy to simply write it. Even if the inspiration is a passion deep within me.
OBE: They say creators are the biggest procrastinators. Not regarding how they may put something off, but how they are waiting for that perfect moment when all is aligned to begin.
CROONER: Maybe that’s true. A simplification maybe or more a generalization too. I do have something just come to mind, about a song I wrote, I used it as a demo to our first record label.
OBE: That would be great to discover. Our readers always like to know about song origin. Often a song we feel we know so well is actually a great distance from what we thought it was about.
CROONER: I had this moment one day in a supermarket. I wasn’t there for any special reason. I wasn’t having a bad day. It was a time I was full of energy and gratitude for a wonderful life.
And yet. A song started to play over the supermarket sound system. I knew the song, but it wasn’t an important song for me. Well not that day, but now it is, because of this experience.
It made me freeze. I don’t know why. Maybe the notes of the music collided with the notes of my vibrational frequency at that moment in time. And I froze. Stood still in the middle of the shop aisle. The song had no relevance to anything I was aware of. But the more notes it threw at me the deeper I froze, the more I wanted to cry. A grown man. Living his best life. In the tinned food aisle of a supermarket. Crying to a song which meant nothing to him?
It wasn’t bringing back bad memories, it wasn’t bringing to mind any fears for today or fears of a turbulent future. It just froze me. It wrapped a fleecy blanket of overwhelm all around me and I couldn’t move. In fact what little energy I could muster I was using to stop myself from crying in public.
There was no rhyme or reason for this. I was surrounded by tinned soup and instant noodles.
Afterwards on reflection I laughed a little at the irony of all those poor baked beans and spaghetti letters being imprisoned in a tin can until someone wanders along to rescue them. Until the saviour then eats them.
And then as quickly as I froze, the freeze was broken by another shopper. Tapping me on the shoulder. Maybe I looked like a shelf stacker frozen out of boredom and day dreaming. ‘Excuse me do you work here?’ they asked me.
I shook my head which snapped me back into the moment. ‘No, sorry’ I replied. Why would I apologise you know? ‘I don’t work here.’
The other shopper says sorry too. No idea why they were sorry too. ‘I just wanted this music turning off.’ They said. Yeah ditto.
Now sometimes when I hear that song. It takes me to that moment again. I don’t freeze. I don’t try to understand what happened, because if I couldn’t figure it out on that day then I certainly wont be able to now. Hind sight doesnt have strong enough lenses.
So I simply convinced myself the lesson within this is that everything doesnt need an answer. Or a lesson ironically. Moments happen due to forces I can’t even see, and as a warm consolation there’s always a human with a tin of beans to snap you out of it.
So I wanted to write something to illustrate this moment and bring it to life emotionally for the reader or listener but I just could find the words to use. I poured over it but the moment and feelings were so much more intense than any string of words I could clip together, you know?
OBE: To be honest you have just painted a perfect portrait of that moment to me now. As you explained it I felt as if I was there. It’s not a thing that’s actually happened to me but the vibrational effect is comprehensible.
CROONER: I understand that but the creator has to create for themselves for fulfilment. I could knit you a yellow scarf to wear and you love it and it keeps you warm. But it’s no good to me because I don’t like scarves and yellow is my least favourite colour. So I would be a guy who just made you a yellow scarf. That doesnt satisfy me very much.
OBE: So what is the conversation in your head now, at that point in time I mean? How do you decide if this should be explored more? When do you know it’s worthy of creation?
CROONER: The fact that any such frustration exists within my mind, any momentary loss for words or a grappling with the elusive phrases that dance out of reach, tells me a challenge exists at the very least.
If I haven’t shaken the notion away and it keeps niggling away at the back of my mind, I can’t ignore this ever increasing maddening feeling. This inability to capture the essence of those emotions in even a basic outline of a song, a scribbled note of poetry, feels heavy, a weighted creative blockage like a heavy chain around my neck and a great big Popeye cartoon anchor tied to that.
OBE: A lot of pressure on yourself.
CROONER: People have more pressure in their lives than me not being able to find some words.
OBE: But it eats away at you doesnt it? I could see in your face when you were describing the frustration.
CROONER: There is a definite conflict inside as well. That gives birth to so many other question marks. For me anyway. Other artists are more carefree and just do it. Maybe I over-think. Maybe I am over-sensitive in the wrong areas and under-sensitive in the other wrong areas.
OBE: An internal argument over the validity of the subject matter?
CROONER: I find myself grappling with the desire to share a story which has become an irritant within me and chasing a narrative that carries with it a profound emotional weight whose origins elude my understanding. There’s an inexplicable depth to it, a well of feelings that stir within me, yet I struggle to articulate the reasons behind its potency.
OBE: Because you can’t make sense of it, or you can’t communicate it as powerfully as you would like to?
CROONER: To be honest, probably at this stage, I am not even trying to figure any of that out. It’s like a big ball of matted wool and I am staring at it hoping it would unravel itself. Not even considering a first step to at least find a starting end to pull on.
OBE: Yellow wool for my pointless scarf?
CROONER: I had no idea why it was meaningful in anyway. Maybe it was just a random weird moment in a shop?
OBE: People have had bigger hits with songs less meaningful than even that!
CROONER: And that’s a completely different interview one day. No one can ever judge what creation might get what reception. Sometimes you rush to share genius with people who don’t respond and yet other times they marvel at an odd noise you made without realising it.
OBE: Which is why your own personal fulfilment is necessary when creating?
CROONER: I think so. I think that’s the point of realization I am at now.
The elements are 1) You cant decide why something means so much to you and you are urged from deep within to pursue it,
and 2) you cannot shake the nagging doubt that perhaps it holds little relevance to others, or worse yet, that its themes may fail to resonate with anyone else at all.
OBE: Which then escalates into fear of creating again in the future after such a perceived fail?
CROONER: That can happen. So best not give a fuck about it at all. Just create for yourself. Don’t over think. Create it when your head feels its the time to create it. Create it to the highest standard, as near perfection, as possible, that you know will fulfil your soul. Send the wolves from the door for a while.
OBE: And if it connects with anyone else that’s just a bonus?
CROONER: I think it’s more likely to connect with others this way. The audience might not have had the same moment as I did but they see what it was for me, it isn’t diluted to be inclusive for all markets. I create a mirror image moment and they can step into it if they choose. Maybe they are just curious or maybe it means something to them.
The audience is also very good at following you as a theme when they are attracted to what you create. They see threads which you don’t see. So this moment I have no idea about; they might add it to another prose I once gifted randomly, and the sense is automated for them.
OBE: You’re like a live series on TV, they are watching your story unfold and grow?
CROONER: Maybe. I am sure they all see what they need to see. That’s not in my control as a creator and especially if I do it for me then would only take what they need for themselves regardless of me.
In this case I didn’t know what it was or where to start writing about it. Let alone how to present it to someone else.
Each time I attempted to unravel its complexities, I found myself ensnared in a web of emotions that defy rational explanation. And so although yearning to share this tale, I had no idea how to express it, totally uncertain of its raw intensity and even if there was even a minutiae poignant significance.
These questions linger, casting a shadow of hesitation over my desire to share. Yet, despite these doubts, I am compelled to do it for myself. All the results after that, once my self indulgent joy is settled, are what ever they will become. Maybe someone will find solace, understanding, or inspiration within its depths.
OBE: Do you think there is an element of release you need from this? Get it out of your system and as far away as possible from you? Deal with it by creating and then deleting it? So that way you don’t also feel any negative reaction from the audience?
CROONER: No I really don’t believe that. If something makes me feel like that I just let it go. Never react to it. I am talking about these things that seem to nag away at me for attention, and leave a curious trail for me to follow. If its something that pisses me off I can auto delete. The curious trail however, soon becomes a compulsion.
OBE: So the procrastinations and the frustrations really hold you back when finding a starting point?
CROONER: If you let them act as pressure points I guess. I think if you keep your mind in the moment and your head as clear as possible then the answer comes to you anyway. Some people pray for an answer. I just meditate, clear my mind and the answer arrives when its ready.
This experience produced quite a random moment and I guess it sounds silly but it’s loosely connected to the weird supermarket moment in the way the path to creating showed itself.
For some reason my head linked the irony of baked beans in prison to something Dr Seuss would write. One of his crazy characters yet within such a serious scene.
So I started writing it as if it was Dr Seuss poem. That got me writing at the very least. It engaged me with the process and the hard data of the scene.
But of course it was never going to be the end product I wanted; but, creation was now under way.
OBE: It’s not as silly as it sounds! Have you still got the poem in the Dr Seuss style?
CROONER: Its hardly the work of a prolific wordsmith but here goes….
In the mart with its lights all aglow,
A fellow was wandering, feeling quite low.
A song on the speakers, a haunting refrain,
Bringing back memories, causing him pain.
Frozen he stood amidst soup cans and bread,
Feeling transparent, like he’d rather be dead.
Cans stacked up high, noodles galore,
He felt like a bean in a tin, oh what a bore!
But then came a voice, with a curious tone,
“Do you work here?” they asked with a moan.
He shook his head, feeling quite blue,
“I’m just like you, lost in this zoo!”
The other one sighed, with a weary shrug,
“I just want this music turned off, oh what a bug!”
And with that, they both went along their way,
Leaving him feeling lost, with nothing to say.
Questions hung in the air, thick as the fog,
In this Seussian world, where even the frogs,
Could see the sadness in his eyes,
As he wandered the aisles,
under fluorescent skies.
OBE: That is literally the Cat in the Hat commentating on you in the baked beans aisle isn’t it?
CROONER: But it was a useful beginning. It took the sting out of the experience and gave me a new point of view, and to be honest this helped with the metaphorical unravelling of the yellow scarf wool.
I was involved with exploring the experience but I could do it from a distance when I wrote as someone else. On this occasion it helped me.
So I wrote more, What if the moment was observed by others and written in their style? Walt Whitman? Japanese poet Matsuo Basho? Wallace Stevens? Joseph Brodksy? Emily Dickinson? Fyodor Dostoevsky?
And it lead me to a clarity that then allowed me to write the work you have since reviewed.
OBE: Have you the other examples from the other poets?
CROONER: Yes Ill send them to you and you can appendage them to this article after.
OBE: So this isn’t a usual way of creating but certainly something that others with a form of writers block or fear can try to just kick start the pen.
CROONER: Yes! I mean so often I can write something straight from my mind and it works out OK or with other pieces I need to find a new way.
To be honest sometimes the finding a new way is the most exciting part of the creative process.
Its the hidden part from the audience. They will take from it what they want from it. Maybe the few words I show them change their life forever, inspire them to make a decision that saves them.
Whatever the result, they will never know its because I almost cried in the baked bean aisle before being saved by the cat in a hat.