It’s never enough, for the Subway Soul to suffer negative feelings alone is it?
There always needs to be some extra pain attached. Not simple enough to feel lonely, but compulsory to blame ourselves for being lonely, torture ourselves for a natural feeling.
Regret!
How crazy is that. Regrets because we were lonely or were not lonely or over things we did that made us lonely or how we behaved when we were lonely.
We are crazy fuckers aren’t we?
Maybe it’s a coping mechanism as much as a torture prod? As with blame? Maybe if we start mulling over regrets from the past it gives us a sense of justifying loneliness albeit highlighting the fact we underperformed at some past stage in our life.
Again this is just me churning ideas out of my head and onto the page. It’s not a prescription for cure.
Knowing what I know know I would just take this regret mood and feeling and let it go, switch the feeling away for a higher state of consciousness.
Of course the more we look back at what we perceive, whilst in this dark state of mind, the more we stray from a higher state of consciousness we only attain by living in the moment.
However in order to understand why the feelings of regret needs to be relinquished when feeling lonely, we can look at some of the reasons why. We will all have a personal reference point with these.
When feeling lonely, people may experience a range of regrets, often centred around missed opportunities for connection, relationships, and experiences. Some common regrets include:
Regretting missed opportunities: Feeling lonely may bring to mind moments of not taking advantage of opportunities to connect with others, whether it’s declining invitations to social events, not reaching out to friends or family, or not pursuing relationships when the chance arose.
What I personally always bear in mind with this subject is that often I make the decision not to attend some things because at that moment I don’t want. The regret seems to be after when you are maybe bored or hear what fun it was from others.
On the flip-side, as I chuckle to myself here, how many times did we attend some of these ‘opportunities’ and wish we had stayed at home?! You know exactly what I mean don’t you.
This is a context which gets lost when darker emotions ride high within us. Of course I am only speaking for me but I am this flipping of the moment is very useful to laugh off a lonely feeling you are using to torture yourself with over an event you probably could have done with out.
Sure this isn’t always the case. You really should turn up for your own wedding and so on.
Regretting strained relationships: Loneliness can amplify feelings of regret about past conflicts or misunderstandings with loved ones. Subway souls wishing they had handled certain situations differently or communicated more effectively to maintain or repair relationships.
This maybe the case. Now we escalate the lonely emotions regretting all that lost love or opportunities of love or hiding away from it. Oh no I am going to be old and alone. No one to bath me when I’m 85.
Again our mind plays tricks in these moments too. The lonely feeling needs dark food to grow it and we forget reasons why that relationship didn’t work maybe. We’ve all done it.
These past relationships ended for a reason which was relevant at that time and if we were to be honest with ourselves we probably wouldn’t want it back now anyway. Maybe?
Yesterday by The Beatles is a famous song that reflects on regret and longing for the past. The lyrics speak of a time when things were different and the singer wishes they could go back and change things. We do have a habit of seeing romance this way and keeping the less romantic turmoil out of the main line of sight!
Regretting isolation: People experiencing loneliness may regret isolating themselves or withdrawing from social interactions. They may wish they had made more effort to engage with others or participate in community activities that could have provided a sense of belonging and connection.
This is natural but again in the moment you make these decisions there must have been a valid reason.
Obviously if these moments are not occurring for you because of reasons of shyness or having no physical contact with people because of location or lifestyle then these are things you can change and adapt and find answers for if you choose. You can remove the empty lonely thoughts and feelings.
The regret is only if you don’t act and you really want to.
Regretting past decisions: Loneliness can also prompt individuals to reflect on past decisions, such as career choices, lifestyle changes, or major life events, and feel regretful about not considering the impact on their social connections or overall well-being.
Regretting time spent alone: Spending prolonged periods alone can lead to regrets about not using that time more productively or meaningfully. Individuals may wish they had pursued hobbies, interests, or personal development activities that could have provided fulfilment and companionship.
Regretting unfulfilled aspirations: Feeling lonely may heighten regrets about unfulfilled dreams, goals, or aspirations, particularly those related to relationships, family, or personal achievements. Individuals may wish they had pursued their desires more actively or taken steps to manifest their dreams.
Overall, the regrets associated with loneliness often stem from a sense of longing for connection, belonging, and fulfilment in interpersonal relationships and life experiences.
These regrets can serve as motivation for you to seek out meaningful connections, prioritize self-care, and make positive changes to alleviate loneliness in the future.
It’s OK to notice these feelings and what the root cause may be. It may be you are just frustrated at yourself more than being lonely.
We regret our previous behaviour and choose to feel lonely instead of the bigger bundle of past events we regret!!!
Its so much effort isn’t it!
This is why I just choose to ignore the thoughts and change the emotion. It takes practise of course. But its well worth the effort.
Help avoid or mitigate the emotion of regret, by cultivating the practice of surrender and acceptance. The letting go of attachment to outcomes and embracing a state of surrender to what is. Let go of regret in any form.
Instead of dwelling on past actions or decisions that may lead to regret, try living in the present moment and accepting it with equanimity. By relinquishing the need to control or manipulate outcomes, we can find inner peace and liberation from the burden of regret.
Encouraging the cultivation of higher states of consciousness, such as love, joy, and compassion, will transcend the egoistic mind and its tendencies toward regret. By aligning with these higher states, we can experience greater inner fulfilment and detachment from the fluctuations of regret.
In essence its trying to emphasize the importance of embracing a mindset of acceptance, surrender, and spiritual growth as a means of transcending regret and attaining inner peace.
In the silent hours of night’s embrace,
Regret whispers softly, leaving its trace.
A weight upon my weary soul,
For moments lost, beyond my control.
I wander through the halls of memory’s keep,
Where echoes of solitude relentlessly creep.
Each missed opportunity, a tear in time,
Leaving me haunted by the rhythm’s rhyme.
Regret whispers of paths not taken,
Of friendships lost, of love forsaken.
In the solitude of my own design,
I bear the burden of this regretful sign.
For loneliness casts a shadow long,
Where regrets dance to an endless song.
A symphony of what could have been,
Leaving me longing for solace within.
But in the depths of this regretful sea,
A glimmer of light beckons to me.
For amidst the darkness, hope can rise,
A beacon of truth in sorrow’s guise.
I’ll embrace the lessons that regret may bring,
And let my heart take flight on wisdom’s wing.
For in the depths of loneliness, I’ll find,
The courage to leave regret behind.
Though the past may haunt with its silent plea,
I’ll find solace in the presents decree.
For in the regret of feeling alone,
I’ll find the strength to call this heart my own.